Grief and Loss Essay

Losing or sovirtuoso or something we love is very anguishful. We may follow out all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like the sadness exit never let up. These are normal reactions to a signifi female genitaliat detriment. But while in that respect is no right or victimize way to grieve there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. grief is a subjective response to detriment. Its the emotional suffering we feel when something or someone we love is taken away. We may associate rue with the death of a love one and this type of loss does much possess the nearly intense wo. But any loss back end cause grief, including * A relationship separation * Loss of health * Losing a job * Loss of financial stability * A miscarriage * shoe demandrs last of a pet * Loss of a cherished dream * A love ones serious illness * Loss of a friendship * Loss of safety later a distress The more signifcant the loss, the more intense the grief. However, regular subtle losses ca n lead to grief. For example, we might witness grief after moving away from home, graduating from college, changing jobs, selling our family home, or retiring from a vocation we love. Grieving is a personal and passing one-on-one experience.How we grieve depends on umpteen factors, including personality and hired man style, life experience, faith, and the nature of the loss. The sorrow mathematical process takes period. Healing happens gradually it cant be oblige or hurried and there is no normal epochtable for suffer. Some sound out start to feel weaken in weeks or months. For others, the suffer process is measured in years. Whatever grief experience, its alpha to be patient and allow the process to earthyly unfold. (Bowlby 1977) In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kbler-Ross introduced what became k at one timen as the quintet stages of grief. These stages of grief were based on her studies of the faces of patients facing terminal illness, merely many people ob tain generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up. The five stages of grief* Denial This cant be happening to me.* arouse Why is this happening? Who is to blame?* Bargaining Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.* Depression Im too sad to do anything.* Acceptance Im at peace with what happened.If we are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may serve to know that our reaction is natural and that well heal in time. However, not everyone who is grieving goes through all of these stages and thats okay. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if we do go through these stages of grief, we probably wont experience them in a neat, sequential order.(Parkes 1972) Kbler-Ross herself never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone who mourns. In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages o f grief, They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, only if there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our resists. Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer.The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, still it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special scourts such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may unchanging experience a knock-down(prenominal) hotshot of grief. While loss affects people in diverse ways, many people experience the following symptoms when theyre grieving. Important thing to remember that almost anything that we experience in the early s tages of grief is normal including feeling like were going crazy, feeling like were in a bad dream, or questioning our religious beliefs. * Shock and disbelief Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. Feeling numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone we love has died, we may keep expecting them to show up, even though we know theyre gone. * Sadness Profound sadness is probably the most universally undergo symptom of grief. We may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. We may also cry a toilet or feel emotionally unstable.* Guilt We may regret or feel guilty intimately things you did or didnt say ordo. We may also feel guilty rough accepted feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, we may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more we could have done. * yellow bile E ven if the loss was nobodys fault, we may feel angry and resentful. If we lost a loved one, we may be angry at our self, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning us. We may feel the postulate to blame someone for the injustice that was done. * Fear A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. We may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. We may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities we now face alone. * Physical symptoms We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical capers, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia.The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. People arent kind of often comfortable talking about their feelings under normal circumstances, its important to express them whe n grieving. manduction loss shake offs the load of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, it is important to accept it and do not grieve alone. Its normal to feel sad, numb, or angry following a loss. But as time passes, these emotions should become less intense as we accept the loss and start to move forward. If we arent feeling better oer time, or grief is getting worse, it may be a sign that grief has bringed into a more serious problem, such as complicated grief or major(ip) depression. The sadness of losing someone we love never goes away completely, but it shouldnt remain centre stage.If the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps us from resuming our life, we may be suffering from a delineate known as complicated grief. Complicated grief is like being stuck in an intense state of mourning. We may have trouble accepting the death long after it has occurred or be so preoccupied with the person who died that it disrupting daily routine and undermines other relationships. (Simons 1979) Symptoms of complicated grief include* Intense passion and yearning for the dead person* Intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one* Denial of the death or sense of disbelief* Imagining that your loved one is alive* Searching for the person in familiar places* Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one* Extreme pettishness or bitterness over the loss* Feeling that life is overturn or significationlessEvery person is individual and deal with grieving process differently ,however some people experience high level of distress which brings them to see the counsellor. (Stroebe,Schut & Stroebe,2005)People seeking counselling would quite often come for help with thoughts, behaviours, feelings or ability to cage. Sometimes grieving person realizes that counselling is the way to go sometimes family or friends would recognize the symptoms and recommend counselling to the grieving person. In both cases its counsellors responsible ness to help the survivor to adapt to the change. on that point are certain principles and procedures than counsellor should follow to help customer work through grieving process and come to a good outcome.1, Actualize the loss lecture about loss may be very difficult for leaf node. This can be encouraged by counsellor by asking appropriate questions when this happened, how this happened, who told you about it, where were you some clients would take in to go over and over it in their minds before they can be fully aware that it has happened. There is not a time scale for this and counsellor will have to follow clients own pace. Counsellor is in this stage clients tender and can facilitate the growing awareness of the loss and its impact by encouraging to verbalize circulating(prenominal) and past memories of the deceased.2, Identify and experience feelingsMany clients come to counselling as the are worried about what they are feeling. Some feelings can be very confusing and pro blematic such as anger ,guilt ,helplessness, loneliness, anxiety. Counsellors role is to ensure client that all these feelings are natural and are give away of grieving process and help them to acknowledge these sometimes negative feelings. It is important not to leave client with negative feelings but to help them find balance in the midst of the negative and positive feelings as cerebrate on negativity may put client in the risk of complications in the bereavement and make themsuitable for medical treatment(Neimeyer 2000)3, Assist adapt to the lossTo achieve this counsellor may use problem solving approach. What are the problems that client is facing and how can this be solved? Counsellor can help to learn effective coping skills help with self esteem if needed .Good judgement of situation is requirement as during acute grief there is an increased risk of maladaptive response.4, Help find meaning in the lossThe specific ways in which people find meaning-strategies such as ther es a spiritual order to the universe,she drank too much,I needed to learn something-may be less sailent than the process itself .In other words,the ability to reascribe meaning to a change world may be more significant than the specific content by which that need is fulfilled.(Schwartzberg and Halgin 1991,p.245) Finding meaning in loss is one of the goals of counselling. The process can be as important as the meaning.5, Facilitate emotional movementBy this counsellor can help client find a new place in their own life which will help them to move forward with life. Some people dont need any encouragement but there are many who do. Especially with loss of loved ones people are tended to feel that if they will move on it will dishonour the memory of the deceased or no one will ever fill the place of lost one. Counsellor can help client to realize that this is true to certain extend but it is all right to live and enjoy their own life.6, Provide time to grieveGrieving requires time and every person deal with loss differently. Client may be going backward and forward in grieving process and counsellor is there to allow as much time as client postulate. Sometimes family and friends calculate to the grieving person as they dont understand they keep telling me what to do etc. Counsellor can help interpret to family members that grieving person needs to accommodate to the loss. There is also a critical time periods which for grieving person is more likely to be difficult to coop with. This would be anniversaries, birthdays ,Christmas and holidays. It is advised to make a note of this dates as grieving person would oftenneed extra support .If these critical dates come after counselling treatment has finished it is advised to make an arrangements to contact client.7, Allow for individual differencesGrieving process has a wide range of behavioural responses and has strong individual differences in the intensity of reactions, pain ,length of time (Schvartzberg&Halgin,1 991) Counsellor can help to explain these differences to the family as sometimes they expect everyone to grieve the same way. Of course clients ethnicity, religion, upbringing and beliefs play major role in the process and counsellor has to be familiar with these factors.8, Examine defences and coping stylesWhen rapport between client and counsellor has developed clients are more willing to discuss their behaviour. Some of the coping styles can be dangerous( alcohol and drug abuse) and not making adjustment to the loss. Counsellor has to be alert and require about this as heavy drug or alcohol use can intensify the grief and depression. As a general rule, normal grief does not warrant the use of antidepressants. While medicament may relieve some of the symptoms of grief, it cannot treat the cause, which is the loss itself. Furthermore, by numbing the pain that must be worked through eventually, antidepressants delay the mourning process. Counsellor can help with active emotional co ping which seems to be most effective way to deal with bereavement. This techniques includes using humour ,reframing and redefining difficult situation.9, Identify Pathology and referIn some cases counsellor may recognize a pathological difficulties in clients behaviour .Some people will not be able to coop and will continue to struggle. This can develop to some type of complicated grief. .In this case counsellor will have to refer client for different type of psychotherapy. Left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. To summarize grieving process is natural reaction to the loss It is personal highly individual experience. There is impossible to set a time scale or ask when grieving process is finished.Bowlby(1980) and Parkes (1972) both say that grieving is finished when a person completes the finalphase of restitution. There is a sense in which grieving can be finished when people r egain an divert in life, feel more hopeful and adapt to the change. In lots of cases grief counselling is adjuvant but as a therapists we have to accept that not every grieving person needs counselling and for those who do need it counselling has to be customized as grief is unique to each individual ( Neimeyer,2000)ReferencesBowlby,J.(1980) Attachment and loss ,New YorkBasic BooksKubler-Ross,E.(1969) On death and dying. New YorkMacmillanNeimeyer,R.(Ed).(2001) Meaning reconstruction and experience of loss. capital of the United States D.C American Psychological Association Parkes,C.M.(1972).BereavementStudies of grief in adult life.New YorkInternational University Press. Sanders,C. (1989 ) Griefthe mourning after.New York WileyWorden,W.J.(2009) Grief counselling and grief therapy.A handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner New York Springer Publishing company